Team,
It’s incredible to me how words stick in your mind. I can be driving down the road, and a song comes on that I have not heard in years, and I begin to sing the lyrics. Our mind is an amazing thing. It stores words and allows us to recall them at a remarkable speed. This can be both a blessing and a curse because words have a substantial impact on us. I have heard various statistics on encouraging vs. discouraging words. It’s been said that it takes as many as nine encouraging words to overcome one negative statement. I don’t know how accurate that is. But I do know that I can find myself mauling over in my mind a negative word spoken to me, even when it is one amongst numerous positive ones. How about you? Our words have power; therefore we should use them wisely. The book of Proverbs has much to say about the wise use of words. I want to look at four principles from this fantastic book.
First, Proverbs teaches us that words are powerful and must be controlled. We read: “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin” (Prov 13:3). Words are very powerful. At times it may be wise to just keep silent. A significant part of self-control is being in command of what words come out of your mouth. Words can cut and destroy.
James recognized this truth when he stated: “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire” (James 3:5)! If it is indeed your desire to be self-controlled, an excellent place to begin is with your tongue. Stop and think before you react or speak. James insight can be understood that if you can control the tongue, then you can control everything else. Words are powerful and need to be controlled.
Secondly, Proverbs teaches that encouraging words need to be spoken. We discover: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love” (Prov 27:5). To conceal our love for people is worse in God’s eyes than the pain of being rebuked before our peers. People are desperate to feel valued. Encouragement is important. That is why Paul challenges the Thessalonian church with these words: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thess 5:11). It’s been said that a pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results. Encouraging words need to be spoken.
Thirdly, Proverbs teaches that we ought not to let words fly off our tongue. We read: “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things” (Prov 15:28). Those who wish to live rightly take the time to think before they talk; the wicked don’t take the time to consider what they say because they don’t care about the effects of their words. Check out this proverb: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Prov 10:19). In other words, a person who talks a lot increases the risk of sin – saying things that ought not to be said; for this reason, there is great wisdom in restricting the tongue. We ought not to let words fly off our tongue.
Lastly, Proverbs teaches that we ought not to let reckless words come out of our mouth. Here we are talking about gossip. We discover: “The words of a whisperer (gossip) are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body” (Prov 18:8). Hearing gossip is like eating a delicacy (something not everyone else hears). Therefore, like food being digested, the gossiped news is assimilated in one’s inmost parts (i.e., is retained and remembered). The gossiper secretly carries stories from person to person. These stories may have some truth to them but are secrets that are wrong to share with others and/or hardly represent the truth. The point of these stories is to ruin people’s reputations, to break friendships, as well as other harmful motives. The words of a gossiper wound the person who the story is about. God wants no part in gossip or gossipers. We ought not to let reckless words come out of our mouth
The simple truth is that Proverbs teaches that we need to understand that words have the power to build up or destroy. We read: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Prov 25:11). An appropriate and properly timed word, even a rebuke, can be attractive and valuable, like gold apples set against a silver sculpture or carving. We also read: “With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered” (Prov 11:9). The mouth can be used to destroy or build up people. The sad truth is that it is often easier to destroy than to build, and far too many people have received more destructive comments than those that build up. Think about it this way. Every person you meet today is either a demolition site or a construction opportunity. Your words do make a difference. We are to use them wisely. Our words make a difference in people’s lives. We need to choose words that build up and not destroy.
It is a joy to do life along with each of you. Let’s use our words wisely. Let us use our words to build up others and never to destroy them. Let’s use our words to spread Christ’s love and message. These are the words God desires to stick in our minds.